Don’t you just love it when the
days get shorter and the leaves are brilliant, when the air is cold and
crisp and jack-o’-lanterns and goblins are veritably runnin’ amok? Why,
Halloween is mah very favorite time of the year, and—
What’s goin’ on there in the
back? Stop your whisperin’ and gigglin’, you naughty young’uns, and
speak up so everybody in the class can heah!
She can believe Halloween is mah
time of the year—is that what she said? Well! Butter wouldn’t melt in
your mouth, would it, missy? You had best hold your tongue, or your
dear Ms. Flanders is goin’ to have to administer a sharp rap across
your tender little hiney with mah hickory walkin’ stick to remind you
of your manners, baby doll. Goblins and witches will have nothin’ on
me. Do Ah make mahself perfectly clear? Ah thought so.
Now, settle down, class! Ah
swan, we had best get down to business afore y’all get totally out of
Bring that there letter right
heah this minute, darlin’, before Ah do somethin’ both of us will
Dear Ms. Flanders,
Stories about demons and
vampires seem to be extremely popular right now. On the other hand, so
are stories about the Amish. I’m getting the impression some authors
are making a cottage industry of these genres. Why, they’re popping out
like they’re on a conveyor belt. There are even whole blogs and Web
sites devoted to these subjects.
Amish and demons—I don’t get it.
Dear Mildly Perturbed,
What’s not to understand?
Fantasy has been gainin’ reader share for quite some time, and demons
and the Amish are simply the two opposite ends of the spectrum. In
these uncertain economic times, honey bun, some folks imagine
conspiracies under every rock and a demon or vampire or some such
creature in every corner. Those of a more staid
and stable constitution
prefer cozy stories about unfamiliar times and cultures they believe to
be simpler and happier, where the only perplexin’ issue is whether the
charmin’ boy gets the simperin’ girl—hence, romances dressed up in
As we all know, whenever a
product causes those cash registers to ring, suppliers will be jumpin’
on the bandwagon to provide more of the same until the market is so
choked with the popular item that everyone loses interest.
Consequently, you’ll notice all the writers spendin’ their time makin’
hay while the sun is shinin’ high in the sky. And naturally, now that
the market is well nigh flooded, reader interest in these two genres
will tumble into the cellar at any moment. And then your fellow writers
will find themselves scrambling to latch on to the next big thing.
And now that Ah have set y’all
to rights on that interestin’ subject, Ah have a thirst deeper than my
grandpappy’s well, if you get my drift. Ah am headin’ straight off to
mah old Aunt Fannie’s place up the road where she is stirrin’ up a
cauldron full of her famous spicy hot cider. And Ah do mean spicy.
There is nothin’ more restorative on a cool fall day than her special
recipe, Ah assure you!
Be very sure you are back heah
next month for another informative discussion of the Sacred Laws of