you want to get an editor or agent? I have tenmarketing
methods to make it
happen. These aren’t the only ways to make an impact, but believe me,
these will make a lasting impression on your dream editor or agent.
1. Pitch editors and agents in
the bathroom if possible. It’s where they’re most vulnerable, thus most
open to suggestions.
2. If you have a fifteen-minute
appointment with an editor or agent, make sure you talk for at least
fourteen of the fifteen minutes. Editors and agents love to try to give
sage advice in sixty seconds or less.
3. Be sure to ask editors and
agents inane questions about them that could easily be answered with a
little Internet research. They like being asked these questions over
and over again.
4. Tell them, “Tosca Lee [or
another of your favorite authors] said I should talk to you and she’s
promised to endorse anything I write!” Don’t worry if you really don’t
the author. Editors and agents never check on stuff like that.
5. If you get a chance to sit
next to an editor or agent at a meal, scoot your chair so close they’ll
feel like they’re in the middle of a CT scan. They like feeling close
When it’s your turn to speak
at a round table pitch session or a meal where there are other aspiring
writers, don’t talk in short sound bites. Talk in long run-on
sentences—without taking a breath if possible. This proves to an editor
or agent you have enough words to write a full length novel.
7. Before and after your
appointment, lurk in your favorite editor or agent’s peripheral vision
so they know you’re serious about working with them. Editors don’t
think of this as stalking, they think of it as persistence.
8. Tell them another editor or
agent has serious interest in your manuscript. No editor or agent in
this industry knows any other editor or agent, so you don’t have to
worry about them talking to each other and then talking about you.
When they ask for your
proposal, and they will if you use the techniques above, hand them one
that’s a little beat up with two or three strategically placed coffee
stains. This shows you’re a true artist.
10. Whenever you say the editor
or agent’s name, pronounce it wrong. This will provide loads of laughs
in the years to come when you reminisce about your first meeting.
It probably doesn’t surprise you
that I’ve seen many of these methods with my own eyes and heard of the
rest. No, I’m not kidding. Do the opposite. I promise, my editor and
agent friends will thank you.