Strains of “Happy Holidays” drifted through the mall as I walked into Eye Express. Whoever thought of the term “holiday” for such a bleak time of year?

“Excuse me,” I said to the gum-popping teenager behind the counter.

She turned around, the phone cradled to her ear, and said, “Just a minute.”

I waited, growing impatient. I drummed my fingers on the counter and cleared my throat.

“Excuse me.” I pulled out my glasses and cleared my throat louder this time.

Holding up her index finger, she mouthed, “Just a minute, please.”

She did not just stick her finger up at me!

She hung up the phone. Shaking her head, she picked up my glasses. “Wow, I ain’t never seen glasses that mangled.”

I rolled my eyes. “And I’ve never heard the English language that mangled.”

He went to see a movie classic
But found his future instead.

A sharp jab to the ribs pulled Dave from his fantasy.

“Earth calling Dave. You’ve been staring at that girl for fifteen minutes. Stop ogling and go talk to her,” Sean said. He pulled the popcorn bucket from Dave’s hand.

Maybe he had been staring a little longer than a good soldier should. Anything to take his mind off this lame excuse for a send-off. An original Star Wars Movie Marathon had to be at the bottom of his “How I Want to Spend My Last Night in the USA” list.

Sean meant well. If nothing else, his company always provided a few laughs. Even if he filled the bulk of his conversation with trivia, like why most of the stormtroopers are left-handed. “Because of how the weapons were constructed,” he explained. “Like real weapons. The magazine is on the left side. When they fire, the weapons hit the troopers in the chest. So they had to switch their grip and that makes them look left-handed.” Then Sean had confessed to the oodles of hours spent researching the Internet for Star Wars tidbits.